Thursday, August 11, 2011

Presidential Joke Day - August 11th

Okay, let's quash the rumors, this day is not a day to make jokes about our President.  This is a day to make fun of jokes, our nation's Presidents have told.

On this day in 1984, President Ronald Reagan made a whopper of a joke.   On August 11, 1984, just before his regular Saturday radio address, President Ronald Reagan was doing a voice test with the microphone. He thought the microphone was off and the feed was not live.

He joked into the microphone: "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." To his surprise, he was speaking to a live feed!

This incident led to the creation of "Presidential Joke Day".

In researching jokes told by our past Presidents, the only humorous one that I found even funny was from Abe Lincoln....."If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one"?

So, in honor of the late President Ronald Reagan, I thought I would share some of Ronald Reagan's funniest quotes from

"It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?"

"I hope you're all Republicans." -speaking to surgeons as he entered the operating room following a 1981 assassination attempt

"Honey, I forgot to duck." -to his wife, Nancy, after surviving the assassination attempt

"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency -- even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting."

"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"

"I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers: Go ahead, make my day." -threatening to veto tax-increase legislation after getting his record tax cut to date in 1981. He ultimately followed with two tax increases, though declined to go any further.

"Well, I learned a lot....I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You'd be surprised. They're all individual countries"

"I don't know. I've never played a governor." -asked by a reporter in 1966 what kind of governor he would be

"There is absolutely no circumstance whatever under which I would accept that spot. Even if they tied and gagged me, I would find a way to signal by wiggling my ears." --on possibly being offered the vice presidency in 1968

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards. If you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book."

"You can tell a lot about a fella's character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful." -explaining why he liked to have a jar of jelly beans on hand for important meetings

"I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." -during a 1984 presidential debate with Walter Mondale

"Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources."

"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.

"As a matter of fact, Nancy never had any interest in politics or anything else when we got married."

"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."

"Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement."

"I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress."

"Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

"I'm afraid I can't use a mule. I have several hundred up on Capitol Hill." -refusing a gift of a mule

"One picture is worth 1,000 denials."

"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."

"What does an actor know about politics?" -criticizing Ed Asner for opposing American foreign policy

"What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" -on Clint Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel

"How can a president not be an actor?" -when asked "How could an actor become president?'

So, today, we honor you, late President Reagan.  You WERE really a funny guy!

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