The Unsuspecting Victim: Innocent and unaware of the fate that awaits him, this 400 pound pumpkin lies just outside the Elephant compound at the Seneca Park Zoo in Rochester, N.Y. We have been unable to identify the local grower. Zoo Director Larry Sorel said they have fed the elephants Jack O'Lantern sized pumpkins before. And they are a special treat for the elephants. But, they have never given a pumpkin so large to them. Speculation abounds as to how the elephants will react. There are ample witnesses to the crime that is about to occur.
The Suspects: We really know these two crafty criminals are guilty until proven innocent. Can you see the guilty look on the suspects face? While they are large, they are not "at-large".
The Willing Accomplices: Is this the "Get Away Vehicle"? ..... Nope. It's all part of an elaborate and diabolical plot to "set up" the victim.
The "Set-Up": It took five big thugs to slide this 400 pound pumpkin into the middle of the crime scene. They have been offered immunity for their testimony and are now in protective custody.
Caught in the Act?: No, not yet anyway. We think this is a form of ancient ritual to the elephant gods preying that the pumpkin be fresh and good tasting.We believe next week they will be taught to "roll over" and "sit". The Zoo Director says the elephants could smell the pumpkin from quite a distance so they are very excited. And, I am sure that pumpkin tastes better than the oak leaves they were nibbling on before the victim arrived.
Casing out the Joint: Errr, sniffing the prize is what's really going on. We wonder how long it will take before the crime is committed? Is it too big for these little puppies? Will they walk away? Maybe they will toss them around like a big beach ball. Read on...
The Crime is committed: Once at the scene of the crime, the elephants wasted no time. I am sure they were thinking about a quick get away. After about thirty seconds of sniffing, one elephant stuck his (or her) tusk into the pumpkin. Then, to add insult to injury, he (again or she) stepped on the pumpkin and crushed one side leaving a gaping hole. Does anyone know the number for the ASPCP American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Pumpkins?
Playing with the Victim: The pumpkin was rolled around and stepped on a few times. Okay, any idea what part of the pumpkin the elephants went after first? The seeds and pumpkin brain were the favorite. After pickings became slim, they went for the smaller broken chunks. We do not know if this means they preferred the seeds and brains or were saving the best for last. You make the call.
And now, for the rest of the Story: We have been told, that the getaway was spoiled and the suspect are now "in the pen". There were plenty of eye witnesses and they were even caught on camera so a conviction is assured. There was talk about "a jury of his peers", but a large enough court room could not be found. It is believed they will get a life sentence behind bars.